Especially for cradle Catholics, being familiar with the Mass can sometimes lead us to forget the rich meaning embedded into each part of the liturgy. Sometimes we forget to take a breath and consider the intention behind the actions that we are engaging in throughout the Mass. One of those Mass parts that can slip right by, unnoticed, is the “sign of peace”

The “sign of peace” - or the “kiss of peace,” as it is traditionally entitled - is an exchange of gestures within the Holy Mass where we greet one another with a symbolic gesture. If you attend a Roman Catholic Mass somewhere in North America, you have most likely shaken hands or given a slight bow to your fellow Mass-goers while saying something like “peace be with you” or “the peace of Christ be with you.” This is the sign of peace. 

It may seem, based on the tone of friendliness that commonly accompanies the sign of peace, that this exchange of gestures is a moment of fellowship between us and our friends and family. This is understandable! However, while the sign of peace is an exchange of Christian friendship, the Church teaches us that this part of the Mass isn’t primarily about socializing. There is a deeper meaning embedded into this exchange of peace.

The General Instruction of the Roman Missal (pg. 82), which is the Vatican document that directs the ordinary rite of the Roman Catholic Mass, explains the significance of the sign of peace in two, key passages.


Making peace before the altar.  

The first passage talks about what the sign of peace means and it notes the significance of where the sign of peace happens in the Mass. 

“The Rite of Peace [is the part of the Mass in] which the Church asks for peace and unity for herself and for the whole human family, and the faithful express to each other their ecclesial communion and mutual charity before communicating in the Sacrament [of the Eucharist]”

Let’s look at a few key words from this passage. The General Instruction highlights that the sign of peace is meant to be a gesture of “unity,” “communion,” and “mutual charity” and it also says that it’s important that this gesture of peace happens before “communicating” (receiving), Jesus in the Eucharist. This passage implies that we need to make peace, to restore “unity” or “communion” with one another, before we receive the Eucharist. Why do we need to do this? Why do we need to “make peace” before receiving Communion? 

Scripture gives us the answer.  

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus talks about the importance of preparing ourselves before we approach the altar, which is what we do when we receive the Eucharist. 

Jesus says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24). 

When we receive the Eucharist, we are coming before the altar to both offer ourselves to God and to receive God into ourselves. Before we do so, the Lord asks us to ensure that our hearts are at peace and free of unforgiveness. The Rite of Peace - and the accompanying sign of peace - is a moment of reconciliation before we approach the altar. 

In fact, Catholic liturgical historian Joseph Jungmann shares that the sign of peace likely developed as an “illustration” of the sicut et nos dimittimus, which is the part of the “Our Father” that says “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Since the “Our Father” is prayed right before the sign of peace during the Mass, we have an opportunity to symbolically enact what we have just prayed in words. 

When we exchange peace with the person before us, who we may or may not actually have a problem with, we are symbolically making peace with any person we need to reconcile with, whether they are physically before us or not. This is also a moment to look within ourselves and ask Jesus to bring his peace into any part of our hearts where peace is absent. With peaceful hearts, we can approach the altar with freedom. 


Stay close, and stay sober. 

The second passage from the General Instruction of the Roman Missal gives us specific instructions about the sign of peace, some of which may be unexpected!

The General Instruction says “it is . . . appropriate that each person offer the sign of peace only to those who are nearest and in a sober manner.” (The Mass of the Roman Rite, V.2, 323)

The idea of being “sober” during the sign of peace may seem strange, especially if we are accustomed to seeing the sign of peace as a joyful, almost social, exchange. 

Are we supposed to stop the smiles, and avoid eye contact? Is it time to evacuate the joy?

In this context, sobriety isn’t unfriendliness. Nor is it a request to be artificially sad. It also doesn’t mean we shouldn’t smile at our friends! To be sober during the sign of peace is to conduct ourselves in a discreet and reverent manner that befits where we are in the Mass. 

It may be helpful to recall that the sign of peace happens shortly after the Bread and Wine have miraculously become the Body and Blood of Christ and the sacrifice of Christ on the Cross has become present to us on the altar. Jesus has died for us, right before our eyes, and his Body and Blood are on the altar, ready for us to receive. Just a few minutes after the sign of peace, we are invited to approach the altar and consume the Body and Blood of Christ. 

By asking us to remain “sober,” the Church is reminding us to remain in reverent awareness of what is happening. The Sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross is before us, on the altar, and we are preparing ourselves to receive Jesus into ourselves. This is a time to be aware of the gravity and wonder of the Lord’s sacrifice for us. At this particular part of the Mass, boisterous greetings and movement do not match the reverence that is due. Since the sign of peace is meant to prepare our hearts to receive Jesus, the Church is also reminding us that the way that we conduct ourselves during the sign of peace should not clash with the sobriety with which we will receive the Eucharist. These two parts of the Mass should be in union with one another. 

When we remain in our pews and only engage with those closest to us, we are also able to maintain a disposition of focus and prayer that better allows us to be fully present to the miracle of the Eucharist that is unfolding before us. 

If we are used to giving a lively handshake to lots of people, or even interacting with people across the church, making a shift in our behavior could initially feel like a downer. But the wisdom of the Church is not inviting us downwards. No! Holy Mother Church is inviting us upwards into a holy sobriety that allows us to worship with the appropriate disposition of solemn reverence that is due to Jesus on the altar, as he offers us his Body and Blood. 

The Church permits us to make our own decision about the specifics of how we will engage with the sign of peace. Even within the parameters of the General Instruction there is room for difference. However, we can use the Church’s call to be “sober” as a principle that informs how we greet our neighbor during the sign of peace. 

Ultimately, the sign of peace is a moment of healing that prepares us for the even greater healing of receiving Jesus in the Eucharist. As we exchange peace, we are asking Jesus to heal our hearts from any wounds of division or unforgiveness that we have within us. This is a moment of reintegration and restoration. 

The next time you go to Mass and the Rite of Peace arrives, you can take it as a moment of self examination. 

Where do I need to make peace? Does any unforgiveness or division linger in my heart or mind? Invite Jesus, the King of Peace, into those fractured places. 

Ask the Lord for the grace to forgive and reconcile so that you can come before the altar, reconciled with your “brother and sister,” as Jesus has asked of us all. With hearts reconciled, we are free to rejoice in the extraordinary mystery of our Lord in the Eucharist.